Upgrade your inner circle

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I have come across countless people complaining about others in their lives who are ruining their progress. The next time I check, I find these people in the midst of the same people that they lament about. If this defines you, it is time to upgrade your inner circle and start to associate with winners. Many people upgrade their mobile phone contracts frequently  but keep the same contacts that are suffocating their lives.  If you are hungry for success; you need to upgrade your relationships and maintain healthy ones that will help you grow exponentially.

This is how you can do it:

  1. Associate with people who are driven

You need to associate with dreamers, people who are keen to reach new frontiers and ready to disrupt the status quo. These are go-getters who are not for a moment threatened by the size of their dreams. They constantly challenge you to new standards, and because of this, you will start to acknowledge that today’s standard is not tomorrow’s. In that way, you will push your life to greater heights. Remember; doing anything less than this is pecking around with the chickens instead of flying high with the eagles.

  1. Look for people who respect your boundaries

Even though you share similar dreams and pursue similar goals, people in your circle should respect your space and boundaries.  They respect your time, your family and even your pet for that matter. These are people who understand that they cannot call at certain times; these are people that cannot invite you to activities that conflict with your values. Any person that does the opposite knowingly; is a saboteur, they will abuse and belittle you and invade your space for their little obscure ends.

  1. Pick people who see life as abundant 

Free stock photo of person, water, stream, freedom

 Associate with people who communicate and share opportunities. These are people who see life as abundant; and are keen to share opportunities with others. They do this because they understand that their success depends on others succeeding. They do not crave for the limelight. These are people who will hold the ladder steady for you to climb. Avoid people with scarcity mentality. They see every opportunity as the last and once they have climbed up the ladder they pull it and fold it to obscurity so that others should not be where they are.

  1. Connect with a master group

advice, advise, advisor

 You deserve people who will advise, guide and recommend ways to develop you. Such people share their experiences, successes and failures from which you can learn. They encourage you to craft your story out of their journey. They invest their time, resources and tools in you because you share in return. Seek the counsel of the wise so that you can prosper. This reminds me of a line in George Clason’s Richest man in Babylon where he says: “but why trust the knowledge of a brick maker about jewels? Would you go to the bread maker to enquire about the stars…?” If you want to invest in your development look for people who have traversed the road before you.

  1. Toil and hard work are corner stones of the relationship

Stay away from people who shy away from sweating for a day’s work.  These are folk who appear when all is done only to claim victory. They cry out the loudest without lifting a finger. These are poisonous people and their sickness should not infect you. These types only want to achieve by association rather than by toil. They want to be a friend just to access your achievements.  Rather; rub shoulders with people who have skin in the game. These are people who will be there come hell or high waters. You need go-getters, achievers; people who are not dismayed by the process to reach the top of the mountain. You need people who will walk side by side with you to move mountains. Let me tell you that when the going gets tough, the go-getters will pick up the pieces and soldier on. The parasites will walk away to look at other people to prey on. You don’t need such people in your life.

  1. Partner with people who are capable of forgiveness 

Every relationship has its dark days and bright days. We step on each other’s toes even when it was not intended. We will fault each other along the way. We will miss to inform someone about something not because we wanted to keep them in the dark,  but because we acted in the spare of a moment. In such cases the intent is not malicious. When such happens, you require people who will forgive and forget and learn from this experience. People who hold grudges will always remind you of the past to arouse guilt in you. They hold progress to ransom by pulling the file of past mistakes all the time.

With the above in mind please write answers to these reflection questions in your journal:

  • Which behaviours do you need to do away with to be a blessing to others? Remember it starts with you before you can focus on others.
  • Who is in your inner circle but working against your dreams?
  • Why are they still there?
  • What will it take to upgrade your circle and by extension your life?

Tex Hlalele

Think Big, Dream Wild & Prosper



  1. As always, very thought provoking to look “within” to change our world “without”. Thanks for helping us to become better than what we are today, to reach for our dreams that often lies buried under our own fears and layers of unhealthy associations.
    This post is one of action- UPGRADE!

    1. The people who keep unhealthy associations put others before themselves. They end up pursuing other people’s goals instead of theirs. These are people who follow the followers. Any relationship that hurts you is not good for you.

  2. Fantastic piece, hitting right at home…
    Association is often overlooked and underestimated when it comes to our success – this reminds us about ” bad company corrupts…” two cannot walk together unless they agree…ancient wisdom.
    Thanks morena, looking forward to the next..!

  3. Hi Thato, your comment is profound. It has valuable lessons even for parents. Most parents would rather see their kids as angels corrupted by their friends. As you say “two cannot walk together unless they agree”

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